The Man from the Shadows, The Girl in the Light
by pottersonthetardis
Summary: Follow young Clara Oswald as she struggles to accept the death of her mum Ellie. Can she keep her emotions in check or will she break? Or maybe follow her and her mum on a trip to the playground before the whole mess started. Or maybe her graduation ceremony where her mum was there in spirit. But what about the man in the bow tie who watched her the whole time?
1. The Death of Ellie Oswald

**AN: I've always wanted to write this. It's how I imagined Clara would act at her mum's grave in that scene from Rings of Akaten. So please read and review. Enjoy the story.**

A short teenage girl with shoulder-length chestnut brown hair, wide brown eyes, and a red coat that looked slightly too big for her stood hand in hand with a man with brown hair that was tinted gray near the roots, who could only be her father. The two people were standing on the grass in front of a gravestone with yellow flowers perched on it, which read _Ellie Oswald Beloved Wife and Mother, Born September 11 1960, Died March 5 2005_. The girl, whose name was Clara Oswald, was obviously heartbroken, her wide eyes struggling to hold back the tears that were trying to break through, her cheeks and nose red from the cool spring breeze. In her arms lay a book entitled _101 Places to See. _The spine of the book was well worn, as if it was read many times by its owner.

The man, named Dave Oswald, was heartbroken also, however his cheeks were already tear-stained and his eyes red and slightly swollen. His eyes flickered from place to place, but always ended up on the exact same spot no matter how hard he tried to avoid it. _Ellie Oswald… Wife…. Died…_ He looked as if he was trying to stay strong for his daughter, but in reality it was quite the opposite. The girl had not shed a single tear since they went to the graveyard and comforted her father when he cried. The man croaked out, "I'll wait for you in the car. It's just down the street."

The girl seemed to barely register what her father had said. She only nodded, her eyes never flickering for a moment off of the gravestone, as if she were afraid someone would come and try to rip it out of the ground. Her father started to walk away, only to stop a short distance away from the car to glance back at Clara before disappearing from her sight. The moment Clara could no longer see her father out of the corner of her eyes, she broke. Her heart split in two. No. It seemed to split into a thousand pieces, like shards of broken glass that made her flinch every time she took a breath. She opened the book and glanced down at the first page of the book, a crimson red leaf, and a crack was forming in the dam she had built so well. The next page contained her name in wobbly writing as if written by a five year old and her age increasing with every line. The crack was larger now, making the dam so fragile it could break at any moment. The last page she looked at had a name written on it. The name of her mother.

The dam broke, at first only a single tear was shed, splashing on her mother's name, smudging the ink as if it had just been written. The book fell to the ground and so did Clara. She fell on her knees, her head in her hands, the tears falling onto the ground making the grass wet as if it was early in the morning and the dew was still on the grass. She sobbed and she sobbed and she sobbed, but she never made a single sound. Her shoulders shook silently no matter how violent she cried, not a single peep escaped her lips. She was still crying as she reached out toward the gravestone, her fingers brushed against her mum's name carved into the stone. When her fingers reached the last letter of the name, she tore her hand away from the grave. At last words came out of her mouth.

"How could you die mum?" Clara whispered. "How could you die?" she repeated louder this time. "You… You promised you would never leave me. YOU PROMISED!" She screamed, her voice cracking with agony. "I always stayed by your side and YOU LEFT ME." She stopped screaming but she didn't stop crying. The loud, heart wrenching sobs reflected her screaming in a way words couldn't describe. If the sobs were heard, they would most likely break the heart of anyone listening just like her heart had been broken. It was obvious that she cared about her mom deeply, and it was an understatement to believe that her mom was the most important person in her life; the person she cared about the most.

The look of sadness, anger, resentment, and fear did not suit the girl. She seemed like the type of girl that didn't believe that something was impossible. The type of person who could live on a dollar a day and still be happy. However this was not how the girl looked today. Right now, Clara looked like someone who would cry over the loss of a penny. Her eyes widened, not out of shock or excitement, but out of realization. The realization that her mother had truly left her. Left her forever. And, the realization that she could not waste away her days mourning the person closest to her. She had to heal the wound the death had left with her. The pain could no longer be the sting of a fresh cut but the dull pain of a scar, always staying with her. She could never forget her mother, not ever, but life always has to move forward.

With tears blurring her vision she started to walk away from her mother's grave. Hiding behind a tree was a gangly man with floppy hair, an old fashioned purple tweed jacket, and a violet coloured bowtie. The man had been watching her from the beginning with a look of curiosity in his eyes, as if pondering on her very existence. Clara seemed to make direct eye contact with the man for just a second before he shied away from her sight. Little did she know that this tall, gangly man would become her best friend in the universe. He would fill the spot that her mother had previously occupied. The girl let out a faint whisper, "I love you mum," which could only be heard for a single moment in all of time and space before the words were carried away with the breeze.


	2. Destiny on the Playground

**AN: So here's the next chapter. Originally I planned on making the first chapter a one-shot, but her I am, continuing it. There may be a few more chapters after this one. I plan on doing one set during Clara's graduation, but that may be the last chapter or the last chapter before a short ending. I hope you enjoy this chapter. You know what to do. Read and Review.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Doctor Who, Whouffle would have been a pairing and Jenna Coleman would stay on forever. Also, there would have been a Doctor Who/Sherlock Crossover.**

The tall gangly man watched her walk towards her car. Her dad opened the car door for her and she got in. Soon the car made a humming noise and the car drove off into the distance. The man sighed and walked in the opposite direction. He made his way towards a blue 1960's police box and stepped inside. He closed the police box doors and rubbed his temples. He sighed. "This isn't possible. She isn't possible! How can she be?" He stumbled over to the control panel and pulled down the lever. Pictures showed up on the screen connected. There were pictures of a Victorian governess and Clara Oswald throughout the stages of her life. A voice echoed in his ears, _Run you clever boy and remember_. He smiled slightly at the memory and then frowned. "That last time she didn't have to die." He murmured remembering her feistiness, bravery, and curiosity. 'Well you know what the humans say. Curiosity killed the cat. But luckily, at least in Clara's case, the cat has nine lives.' He ran around his time machine called the Tardis, which was the bigger on the inside phone box, and pulled different levers. "One last time into her past. Okay Clara Oswald, watch me run!" The machine made a unique sound and travelled through time and space. This time the Doctor travelled further into the girl's past.

Once the Tardis landed, the Doctor walked out and found himself in a playground. He looked all around the park, but there was no sign of Clara. His bowtie flopped and his gaze was downcast. He sighed and walked over to the swings. The swing creaked under his weight, but did not give in. He started scuffing the dirt under his feet when a little girl with braided brown hair sat down on the swing next to him.

"Hello." the little girl waved. "Why are you sitting on the swings?"

The Doctor smiled and said, "Why shouldn't I?"

"Because you're old!" the brown haired girl exclaimed.

The Doctor nodded and pointed his finger at her. "Yes, that's true." he chuckled. "That is very true."

"My mum says I shouldn't talk to strange men." The girl intervened. "Are you strange?" The swing started to squeak as her legs pumped up and down making the swing move back and forth.

"Oh, dear. I'm way past strange. I think I'm probably incredible!" he answered jokingly, spreading his arms wide open.

The girl frowned. _Something wasn't right_, she thought. She stopped swinging. "Are you lonely?"

The Doctor softly chuckled to himself. "Why would I be lonely?" He asked.

"Because you're sad." she said simply shrugging her shoulders. "Have you lost something?"

The Doctor didn't meet her concerned gaze. He stared at the ground beneath his swing, his feet making a circle in the ground_. Yes. I did lose something. Every lonely monster needs a companion, and I lost mine. I lost my beautiful Impossible Girl. I lost Clara,_ he thought miserably. Instead of saying the truth he just shook his head.

Despite his negative answer of having lost something the girl told him, "When I lose something I go to a quiet place and I close my eyes," she closed her chocolate brown eyes, "and then I can remember where I put it." Her eyes snapped open.

"Good plan."

"I'm always losing things. I lost my best pencil, my schoolbag, my Gran, and my mojo!" she counted on her fingers.

"Your mojo!" the Doctor exclaimed. _Where have I heard that expression before?_ He thought. _What's that human movie again? Jimmy Neutron? No. That Seven Year Old Spanish Explorer? No, that wasn't it. Austin Powers? Yes, that was it!  
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>"I got it back though." the girl reassured him proudly.<p>

He lightly punched her shoulder and said, "Hey that's good."

"What did you lose?" the girl asked innocently, her big brown eyes filled with curiosity.

Everything seemed to be frozen, as if the whole universe wanted to know what the man lost. The universe wanted to know what had been risked due to the fact that it didn't live up to his bargain. The bargain that was he would save the world to let a girl live. Who was the girl?

"My friend." he sighed. "I met her twice before and I lost her both times." He looked at the ground with his head in his hands. He needed a companion, and his was taken by the companion that followed him everywhere. Death. It lied in his wake. Everywhere he went, Death would follow. "Now I don't think I'll ever find her again."

The girl looked worried. "Did you look for her?"

The Doctor looked at her and gave her a wobbly smile. "Yeah, everywhere."

The little girl frowned and rubbed her eyes with the heel of her palm. "That's sad."

"It is a bit." he told her. Unfortunately that was the curse of the Time Lords. His friends could spend the rest of their short human lives with him, but he couldn't spend the rest of his life with them. He wanted to change the topic of conversation, and quickly. He pointed over to a woman and asked the girl, "Hey, is that your mum?"

"Yeah, I'd better go and see if she's alright." she said, her voice full of remorse. "How are you going to find her? Your friend?"

The Gallifreyan looked as if he were in a trance; his gaze wandering from clouds to grass to playground equipment to his hands. His fingers fumbled for the chains of the swing. The leaves on the tree rustled; his floppy hair waved in the wind. "Well, the first two times I met her, I just sort of bumped into her, so I thought maybe if I just wandered about a bit I might bump into her again. You know, like destiny, sort of."

The girl snorted, "That's rubbish." She shook her head. _Honestly,_ she thought, _destiny._

He laughed so hard his stomach hurt. "Yeah, I think it probably is." he agreed. "Hey, maybe I could find a quiet room and have a good think about it instead."

She nodded, "That would better." The girl jumped off the swing. "Goodbye." she waved. "What's your name?"

The Doctor cleared his throat and thought. "It's John. John Smith."

The girl was walking towards her mother when she turned around and said, "Mister! I hope you find her again."

"So do I." The Doctor said, his voice full of longing and remorse.

The girl hugged her mum as she was twirled around. Her braids were flying. Her mum set her down and knelt to her height. "Who was that?" her mum asked, looking pointedly at the man her daughter was talking to.

"I was talking to a sad man."

Her mum looked her square in the eyes and scolded, "Look, Clara Oswald, what have I told you about talking to strange men?"

Clara had the humility to look bashful but retorted, "Mum he was sad. He just lost his friend."

Ellie Oswald looked at the man under different circumstances. The man looked downcast as if he was being followed by a grey storm cloud pouring down on him. Even the ridiculous bowtie he was wearing seemed to match his distraught features. She knew what it was like to lose something you cared about. "I'm glad you managed to cheer him up a bit Clara. Now how 'bout we go home and have some tea to warm you up."

Clara clapped her hands together as she jumped up and down. "Yay! Let's go mum." She grabbed her mum's hand and started running in the direction of their house.

Unknown to them, the scene tugged on the Doctor's heart. His mind replayed the situation he was in when he and Clara were in Victorian London. He remembered his voice saying, _I do the hand-grabbing, that's always me!_ He smiled warmly at the scene. He slowly got off of his swing and walked to his Tardis. Glancing at the key in his hands he sighed. _If only the ice woman didn't grab her. _The doors opened and inside of the box he went. _It's smaller on the outside!_ The Doctor slapped himself. _You have to snap yourself out of this, _he thought,_ you need to find Clara._

Once again a vwhorping noise occurred, and the time machine left the playground causing a sudden wind to rustle the leaves and blow away the Doctor's doubt. He could find her. He could find Clara, even if it was the last thing he did.


End file.
